This has been my mental image for the past three days. And actually, the photo is only half of it. In my mental image, it's a cheeseburger burrito wrapped in a slice of pizza. Maybe with a side of ranch. It's been hard to focus. And no amount of almond butter, or raspberries, or tasty lettuce wrap tacos has made that mental image go away. But it does have me thinking a lot about choice. The choices I make around what to eat (and why), how I show up in my relationships (with myself and others), and the factors I consider when making said choices.
I've made it past the halfway point. In fact, when I was talking with Lindsay last night, I actually had to pull out a calendar and count to see where I was. As of this writing, I've made it through seventeen days. I got a little excited when I realized that. Knowing that I had passed the mid-point took away the last doubts I had about completing the 30 days. In many ways, these adaptations are becoming routine. (Even if the 'routine' is often cooking meals for the next day late at night. I mean, everyone wants to go to bed with their house smelling like curry, amiright?)
Even more exciting, day 17 means that I am supposed to be in "Tiger's Blood". This is a phase where the Whole 30 folks claim that everything just clicks into place, energy is higher, and you can really start to feel the positive effects. I thought for sure I was going to get a solid ten days of feeling like Olivia Pope -- without the borderline-abusive-driven-by-Daddy-issues relationship baggage. And while I did buy a great pair of boots on sale today, I do not feel like Olivia. (Maybe it's because I can't drink wine out of those great glasses?) But, I do feel good. And I am sleeping good. And my workouts are better. (Though, I think this is more to a better mental focus than physical improvement. It's easy to keep the last 10 seconds on a plank when you realize it's much harder to walk away from a burrito.) But if I'm being honest, I was hoping their would be something more. Like a lightening bolt that somehow brought clarity, but also made it rain nutritious pre-cooked food so I didn't have to worry about snacks for the next 13 days, AND gave me the ability to do 50 push ups without any stress. Or maybe the big prize is not any of that, but rather a renewed ability to give myself a little grace and realign some self-expectations. And, to keep being honest, that sounds like a pretty great win, too.